How's it dangling then? To the left you say? Ooooeer......

I write to you in some discomfort at the moment. I have a type of RSI whcih is affecting my hands and wrists. Oh go on, get the jokes over with! Seriously I have to rest it a bit so shouldn't really be on the PC......and I am giving the mobile phone texting habit a wide berth for a while too. Will have to use hands free head set for calls etc. Or switch the damn things off completely when I'm not working, which is fine with me as I hate mobiles anyway. All my friends and family know this. If I'm doing anything vaguely more interesting than answering a call I wont pick up. Eating, cooking, bathing, watching telly, listening to music, chatting to someone. Which means I hardly pick the phone up at all! Still mates and family know to leave a message if its urgent, yelling at me to PICK UP NOW!!!!! Phones are just so intrusive.

Song of the week is The Zutons Valerie

Yours stiffly, Coral xxxx

It's a British institution isn't it, talking about the weather? Too hot, too cold, too wet, hose pipe bans etc.
Had a lovely BBQ with friends on Saturday. That's what life's all about, kicking back with a few drinks and some great food, chatting into the small hours.

Been finalising some plans today with my partner in crime Hannah. She's coming over for a couple of days this week and we will see some clients and have lots of fun. We're having some naughty new 2Curvy photos taken too, so watch out for those!

Also making plans for my first ever tour to Bristol which should be good. Not sure if it counts as a 'tour' though as it's only a few junctions up the M4 from me lol. Anway I'm doing 2 parties there with the Voluptuous ladies on July 6th so I'm looking forward to that.

What else? Oh yeah, what do you think I should do with a text stalker? Got some prize wanker keeps texting me idiotic questions. Does he not know how easily mobile numbers can be traced? I'm maintaining a dignified silence at the moment but my patience is wearing very FUCKING THIN.......

*sighs*

It's clouding over at the moment here in Oxfordshire. It looks like there might be some light rain. Peter Kay fans will appreciate this

"It's spitting!!!!!!"

Album of the day is the Beatles blue one

Here's me in a hat. Don't laugh....

What's with the tits on Big Brother? No not Mikey and Glyn. Those massive swellings on the front of Lea and now Suzy. What's with all the body deformities in there? Oversized tits and cocks (Pete allegedly. I shall have to look closer and report back)Tiny little sticks for arms and legs (Grace and Nikki) that look like they will snap in a strong wind. Boys dressed up as girls, girls that look like boys (Lisa)

I cant watch anymore, my waist measurement is over 30 inches. Its not allowed.

Today I have mostly been HOT. Not pleasant hot either but sticky sweaty need-a-shower-every-hour kind of hot. You have to put your hair up in a bun or it sticks to your neck kind of hot. You cant even sit at the PC for very long as your naked clammy skin sticks to the leatherette type chair and makes you wince as it hurts when you get up kind of hot.

My dog keeps pathetically putting his ball in front of me in the hope of some garden play. Some chance.

Anyway off to London tomorrow so here's hoping it's cooler or that the hotel has got decent air con or both actually.

Song of the week Rogue Traders Voodoo Child

I shall leave you with a picture of a real pair of tits. Mine actually. covered in oil and water. I'm so good to you :)

BIRDWATCH ALERT!!!!

Standing in the kitchen yesterday chatting to Charlotte with a glass of vino in hand, I looked out the window and saw a flash of colour in the long grass.

"What the f*ck is that?!"

Now Charlotte twitches as much as me since I converted her, so she ran for the binoculars while I rushed for the camera. The nearest one sadly was my little baby digi not the other half's super duper zoomy pro thing, so the resulting photo is a bit of a blur. Which is a shame cos I dont know when I'll get a GREEN woodpecker in the garden again, they are a bit shy. I'll share it with you anyway. And promise to post more interesting stuff later as I'm sure my bird twitching is highly amusing to you, oh yes I know it is! Huh!

I have to go shopping now to get food for my lunch date today. Three hour booking with a lady and we are going to swop dresses and play with make up *waves at Helen*

"Doncha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?" - The Pussycat Dolls