I've dragged myself to the PC from my sickbed. Spent yesterday in bed with a nasty little bug that gave me stomach cramps like I haven't experienced since the birth of my offspring. Honestly, it had me doing sums in my head and wondering if I could sell my story to Take a Break re. giving birth to a surprise baby.

But more likely it was the result of the Indian takeaway, chcocolate bars (Areo truffle and peanut yorkie. New versions have to be sampled)and bottle of Tequila Rose pink and creamy liqueur that Hannah and I stuffed away on Thursday night. Insert barfing icon. Anyway I feel quite weak this morning but am scared of bedsores so am being brave and getting up.

A day in bed with the telly remote and a view to the back garden proved interesting. Birdwatch saw the return of a Goldfinch, very exciting! And a greenfinch came to visit too, I haven't seen them for a while. The long tailed tits are still missing though. Oh come on, I know you are interested!

Elliot got kicked out of American idol, shame he was my favourite. And then we have the return of Big Brother. First impressions are Richard is fun, Dawn is sound and Shahbaz is an annoying twat. And we have the usual glut of vacuous, decorative twentysomethings, the most annoying of which so far is definitely Nikki. Ot Grace. Or Micky. Or Zezer. Or Chantellijade. Oh take your pick.

My head hurts, I'm going back to bed.......